


You're Not A Human Being

by loserskeleton



Category: Phandom/The Fantastic Foursome (YouTube RPF)
Genre: Alternate Universe - Future, Robot Dan, based off that one selfie dan posted
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2015-11-26
Updated: 2015-11-26
Packaged: 2018-05-03 11:05:52
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,090
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/5288366
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/loserskeleton/pseuds/loserskeleton
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>Phil found some old robot laying in the dump, and decides it’d be a fun project to fix it up, but the android is different than any that Phil has seen.</p>
            </blockquote>





	You're Not A Human Being

Phil stood in the kitchen, watching the android examine his Holo-Screen TV. It was so realistic and human-like, at a level where it was almost terrifying. Most android that you buy look as realistic as a living human, no visible joints or wires. But this one was different. It had the appearance of most Androids, but it didn’t act like one. The android stared and studied the Holograph , as if it had never seen one, as if it had an actual curiosity.

Phil did a reality-check and assessed everything he did today. Venture to the dump for building part, find a slightly-used android, fixed it up, and observe. He backtracked to his workshop, when he had opened the android’s control box in it’s lower back. The wiring was extremely complex, and there were far too many wires to count. Sensors, Phil thought, enough to mimic a human’s nervous system.

Some part of the android gave it such a human-like element, but Phil knew better. He could spot the slight stiff movement that most people won't notice, and he had looked into the android’s eyes. It was only visible if you were looking for it, but it’s eyes had a thin glowing square in the pupil. The camera that lets it see, maybe even a scanner.

“Hey, can you come back here for a second?” Phil called out. He wanted to continue to test the A.I. of the droid. Cheaper A.I.s interpret your commands literally, coming into the room, timing a second, and returning. This one did not.

It walked in casually, unlike most robots do when given a command. “Are you gonna run some tests or something?” It asked.

The voice wasn’t stiff, or electronic-sounding, and the word choice was casual, which was odd for an android laying in a dump.

Phil cleared his throat, “Yeah, just sit on this table right here.” The robot followed.

He continued to inspect the android and write it down; Soft brown hair, dark (pretty much black) eyes, fair skin, etc. Afterward, he continued to test the A.I.

“What’s 9x5?” “45”

“First 10 digits of Pi?” “3.145.. How the bloody hell am I supposed to know that?”

The android was genuinely confused. The A.I. wasn’t was smart as most, but it was incredibly realistic. “Do you have a name?”

Phil was hesitant. The average android would respond with the model or brand, but Phil had the growing suspicion that there was nothing ‘average’ about the droid he had found. It finally clicked in his mind when the android responded.

“Dan Howell, 24 years old.”

This robot had no idea it was a machine.

Phil choked out a sigh. “Is something wrong?” Dan asked.

“Nothing.” Phil smiled, “You’re 4 years younger than me.”

“That means you’re nearly thirty! I thought you were younger!”

Phil made a face, “I’m not that old!”

Dan giggled, “Sure you aren’t.” The fact that this android could laugh and seem to feel emotion put a little fear into Phil.

“Okay, let’s continue: That’s the last thing you remember?” Dan’s face changed as if a wave of emotion fell over him.

“I remember going to bed in my apartment, and then nothing. I woke up here but I feel like I missed something, like I was asleep for too long.” Dan looked a little uncomfortable.

“Do you know what today is?” Phil asked.

“I have a feeling it’s not October 2015.” Dan said sarcastically.

Phil bit his lip before responding, “It’s the 15th of January, 2065

Dan forced a smile and sighed, “50 years? Did they release the iPhone 69 yet?”

Phil couldn’t help but chuckle at that. “Apple was disbanded years ago, actually. They were replaced by a brand called Holo-Screen.”

“Is that what that TV is?”

\-----

Phil has just finished cooking his cup noodles, and sat down in the living room while Dan explored the apartment.

“So where do you work?” Dan asked, seating himself on the opposite end of the sofa. Phil had promised him he would answer all his questions, about himself and about the ‘future’.

“I’m a repairman, I guess. I work in a shop my friend PJ owns, we fix electronics and sell them.” Phil shoved a forkful of noodles into his mouth after answering. “Are you hungry?” He asked cautiously. Phil didn’t know any robots that could eat, but he didn’t know any robots that didn’t know they were robots, but then.

“Not hungry,” Dan replied nonchalantly. He said it with a plain face, as if automated. It was the A.I. speaking directly. “Where did you find me?”

Shit. Phil quickly decided ‘the dump’ wasn’t a sufficient answer. “In an abandoned hospital, a cryogenic chamber,” he rushed, “I was scavenging for some spare parts.” It was only half of a lie.

“Those are real now?” Dan asked excitedly.

They weren’t, but Phil had his story planned out. “They were disbanded, too many risks.”

“I wonder what happened to me,” Dan asked sadly and in a confused manner. “Do you think anyone I knew could still be alive?”

“If they were your age, then…” Phil paused.

“They’d be in their seventies and eighties. Either dying or already dead, probably.” Dan finished for him with a sigh.

Phil put his noodles down on the coffee table. “I know it’s hard to take in, but if you need to talk you have me."

“It’s not like I have anyone else, so thanks.” Dan said. “I’d hate to make this awkward, but it’s Philip Lester, right?”

“Phil. Just call me Phil,” he said. Phil remembered that this was a robot he was talking to.

“Phil. Got it.” Dan confirmed. He paused, “I’ll be fine sleeping on the couch, but could I borrow a blanket?”

“What? No, I’ll sleep on the couch, you can take my bed.”

“Are you sure? I don’t want to inconvenience you…” Dan said nervously.

“Yeah, I’ll be fine. Have you noticed how blocky my couch is? I’d rather you actually enjoy the future and our soft beds.” Phil smiled. After he spoke, he realized what he had said. Did he actually give his bed to an android that won’t even care about comfort?

Dan looked down, “Well when you say it like that, I feel bad that you’re on the couch!”

Phil sighed. “If you don’t mind, we could share the bed? It should be big enough for us both.”

“If it’s okay with you, sure.” Dan nodded.

“Now let me finish my noodles first,” Phil smiled.

 

 

 

**Author's Note:**

> ayy so this is the first i'm uploading, let me know what you think even if you think it's trash


End file.
